Pushing Up Daisies

Hard Times..................


You think the world will end when you are young, and you break up with your girlfriend or boyfriend. You cry and tell all of your friends about the terrible break-up and how your sweetheart did you wrong. You are sad, think you are depressed, and perhaps you are right. However, you’ll recover after a while, and the subsequent handsome or beautiful love interest takes it all away. Would that all of life’s tragedies were so simply put right.

Later, when life has been long, sweethearts have become spouses, and love has grown into a family, losing your spouse is not an easy recovery. You are now mature enough to understand that although the world will not end, death is the end of the world as you have known it. Sadness does not even begin to express the depth of your emotional swells. Depression knocks at every corner and threatens to take your will to live away. Sadness, which used to be such a powerful word, now fades as an inept expression of your painful reality.

This may or may not be your current situation. Still, in most cases, losing a spouse may change your social standing, income, living space, identity, independence, companionship, emotional health, physical health, and many other things you rely on and love. Fear is a significant factor, especially for the elderly. Essentially, life has changed, and you must adjust to it. Adjusting is the only pathway to survival.

After the immediate physical necessities are arranged, it will be time for you to consider your emotional needs. Immediate physical necessities are laying your loved one to rest, solidifying appropriate and safe lodging, securing sufficient income, etc. Emotional needs must now become the focus. You must address your emotional and psychological recovery.

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LONELINESS

Loneliness is frequently expressed by the bereaved, especially by those who have lost their spouses.

Social loneliness may be curbed through social support.

Emotional loneliness, however, is brought on by a broken attachment.

With such, a new attachment is the only remedy.

Certain survivors are unwilling to form new attachments and thereby endure severe loneliness indefinitely.

This behavior is more common among the elderly. (Mourning Lights, 2022)

Emotional loneliness may be curbed by finding new friends. New friends can be found in many ways. Interests, hobbies, social events, travel, and church are excellent avenues for discovering new friends. Focusing your attention on your children and grandchildren also helps you fill the emotional void of loneliness.

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HOBBIES

Hobbies occupy the mind and hands.

They engage our brains and keep them in good health.

Hobbies create a sense of accomplishment.

They propel us toward a healthier and happier grief recovery. (Mourning Lights, 2022)

Hobbies also bolster confidence and selfworth. They are a big hitter. While enjoying yourself and making new friends, you might create beautiful items to give away as gifts or expand your health and happiness through sports and exercise.

Another outstanding curative possibility is the amazing power and friendship of animal companionship.

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ANIMAL COMPANIONSHIP

Animal companionship typically results in fewer migraines and less persistent fears.

Fewer phobias, lower levels of panic, and less drug and alcohol intake are very positive side effects associated with our furry friends.

The love and acceptance of a pet help us combat depression and isolation.

If you have a family pet, be mindful of their needs.

Taking Fido out for a brisk walk will provide both of you healthier opportunities for exercise, socialization, and companionship. (Mourning Lights, 2022)

PLEASE CONSIDER: If you are considering taking on a pet, please evaluate the responsibilities that come along with it. An animal depends on you for survival. You must be physically able to care for and provide for the animal. You may need to plan for the animal if anything happens to you.

The takeaway is that we must actively seek a remedy to grief when a loss occurs. Grief can be debilitating up to the inclusion of death itself. No one wants to see you suffer, and sometimes their suggestions may seem out in left field. Rather than be offended, realize that friends and family are trying to help ease your pain through concern and love for you. Additionally, others may not be able to bare seeing you suffer so profoundly and may avoid you. In such cases, they aim to prevent offending or adding to your pain by saying something stupid. In both cases, you are the only person who can control your reaction, and you are the only person who can decide whether you will recover.

Recovery requires a conscious decision and a conscious effort.

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Deliberate Recovery – 1st KEY TO RECOVERY

The first key is recovery is to DECIDE TO RECOVER. (Mourning Lights, 2022)

Without this crucial decision, you are just spinning your wheels in misery. Moreover, you will continue there, in desperation, until you commit yourself to yourself. My hope, and my life’s work, is to help you find the will and the strength to make this commitment. My goal is to assist you in obtaining recovery and finding joy and peace. As we enter this holiday season, please reach out to those in your community of supporters for peace and understanding.

My name is Tracy Renee Lee. I am a Certified Grief Counselor (GC-C), Funeral Director (FDIC), published author, syndicated columnist, Podcaster, and founder of the “Mikey Joe Children’s Memorial” and Heaven Sent, Corp. I write books, weekly bereavement articles, Podcasts, and Grief BRIEFs related to understanding and coping with grief. I am the American Funeral Director of the Year Runner-Up and recipient of the BBB’s Integrity Award.

It is my life’s work to comfort the bereaved and help them live on.

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